Well, this will probably be my last post here on Leopard&Grace. The past 2 months have been a transformation to say the least, and as this chapter is ending and a new one is beginning, I think it’s time for a new blog space.
I have always tried to be an honest, transparent person and since writing/blogging is my therapeutic outlet, I have never had a problem opening up and sharing my life. But there has been one thing that I have not shared, and have not spoken (or written) about, so it’s time for a real life update…..
In two days, I will go before a judge to dissolve my marriage. Paperwork was signed and filed last week, and our court date is only 53 days since we decided to separate. (In MA, there is a 120 day waiting period, so the divorce will not be “officially-official” until early March). Things have been surprisingly (and gratefully) amicable, so deciding on things like parenting time, holiday time, splitting of assets, was fairly easy. He moves out of our house this coming weekend, and I move out the week after Thanksgiving, and then we close on our house on 12/1.
This news has shocked pretty much everyone in our life. Not a single person saw it coming. We had just celebrated our five-year wedding anniversary, and to outsiders (and on social media) things looked, well, perfect. But our split had been a long time coming, and even so, I truly struggled with making this decision. How on earth do you decide to end something that was supposed to be “forever”?
I won’t go into the details, because I am still a fiercely private person when it comes to my personal relationships. But there was no wrongdoing on either side, no one big massive blow out that determined the end. I was private about our struggles, because I really thought that one day, I’d wake up and we would be happy again. I didn’t want other people to get into my head, to influence my decision, or steer me in one direction or another. What I will say, is that this was an incredibly difficult decision, but after much thought, prayer and soul searching, I am convinced is the right one.
I will always be grateful to him, because he gave me the most amazing gift – the gift of being a mom – which was my biggest dream in this life. She is the best parts of both of us, and a reminder that while our marriage was not perfect, we created something that was.
Our main focus is, and always will be, her. She deserves to have an amazing life, and she deserves to be surrounded by love and happiness. She deserves to have two parents who are happy and well-adjusted and fulfilled, even if that means they aren’t together. My heart is sad that our family unit will not be what I had always imagined, but I am hopeful that, in time, we will all be okay.
I couldn’t have gotten through these last few weeks without the support of our family and friends, my people, who are now helping us to pick up the pieces and move forward. I can’t thank them enough for the love, tears, laughter and support. The days ahead will be difficult as we navigate this new path, but I am confident that in the end, it will all be okay.
In closing, my thoughts are this: Love your spouse. Love them every day. Commit to them every day. Cherish what you have. Protect it above anything else. Because marriage is hard, and life throws you some crazy curve balls, and if you don’t protect the most important thing – each other – then, in the end, nothing else matters.
My new blog is under construction, so please be sure to follow me on Instagram @gentelly for updates!
Thank you for reading, commenting, the love and friendship. I’ll see you soon …. and as I embark on a new chapter, feeling a little bit scared and sad, but mostly hopeful, happy and ready.
Cheers to whatever life brings me next.